TUNGSTEN VALLEY — This month’s column was going to discuss how to measure the earth with two sticks. But then both of my readers spotted a UFO article in The New York Times (“Mystery Potato Hovering Over Colorado is Reported in Latest UFO Files,” June 13, re-run June 14 in The Denver Post, sourced from dow.gov), and they asked me to look into it. How could this correspondent not review that?

The particulars: February 2022, near Cheyenne Mountain/Fort Carson, mid-morning, 50 degrees, clear sky. An Army intelligence officer and four colleagues saw a nearly motionless, hovering object that looked like an airplane-sized white potato. It “had a slightly translucent, shimmering white appearance, with defined edges and a milky shimmer that reflected sunlight.”

They called it an angular, non-symmetrical potato made of uneven panels like “articulating fish scales.” They added that it exhibited “slow waves starting at different points of origin but at the same time.” Then it disappeared abruptly.

With this report, the FBI had an illustrator build a graphic, like for a bank robber. Perusing the story and eyeing the pic, I shouted to my wife. “I know exactly what this is. I saw one of these myself, years ago!”

“And you know this how, from where?” she responded, with an indulgent eye roll.

Here’s the scoop-exclusive, for The Mountain-Ear’s readers. (Try to keep up, New York Times and Denver Post.) The 2022 Colorado white-potato UFO was a half-deflated aerostat. The US military flies these uncrewed, airplane-sized balloons at locations including Yuma Proving Ground, Ft. Huachuca, Marathon Key, and sometimes (smaller variants) at Ft. Carson. Ground-tethered, aerostats loft sensors up to two miles high. They’re glossy-shiny white, partly for visibility to pilots and partly to minimize solar heating.

Every so often, one escapes. Which is where things get interesting. A drifting, rogue aerostat is an air traffic hazard and can be problematic upon landing. Gradually deflated by controllers, it descends to where people on the ground may notice it.

I saw one myself, years ago, downed and flapping at the Yuma Proving Ground. It looked scary, despite my knowing what it was. Exactly like the FBI report’s description, it shimmered and rippled and waved, with “fish scales” formed by seam patterns in its glossy white, translucent envelope. It disappeared “abruptly” when the recovery crew finished it off.

You might imagine an Army intelligence officer would have known about aerostats. Or, with a fraction of the resources they dumped into the graphic effort, maybe the FBI’s gumshoes could have bothered to clear the report via an inquiry to Ft. Carson’s Operations Group.

If the witnesses had had binoculars, they would have instantly seen that the potato was a half-inflated balloon. Because, as I always say, nothing kills a UFO faster than binoculars. UFOs are just ordinary things seen under unusual circumstances. The 2022 Colorado white-potato UFO was an amusing example.

Fun Factoid: Decades ago, I listened to radio calls in a control room, from a fighter pilot who’d been scrambled to shoot down the Marathon (Cudjoe) Key “Fat Albert” that had broken loose and was drifting toward Cuba. The pilot grew exasperated because despite his strafing runs the thing was so voluminous that the bullets weren’t visibly deflating it.

In July Skies:

The sun begins the month in Gemini, entering Cancer on July 18. At mid-month, days and nights are 14 and 10 hours long, respectively. On July 5, we’re at maximum (not minimum!) annual distance from the sun, called aphelion.

The moon’s dates are: Last Quarter July 7; New July 14; First Quarter July 21; Full (Buck or Thunder Moon) July 29.

July Meteor Showers: The Piscis Austrinids (parent unknown), Southern delta-Aquariids (parent, Jupiter-family comet P/2008 Y12), and alpha-Capricornids (parent, Jupiter-family Comet 169P/NEAT) peak on July 29 and 30. The Piscis Austrinids are best seen between midnight to dawn. The Aquariids peak around 4 a.m., and the Capricornids are best around 2 a.m.

Best Sky Viewing Nights (Minimal Moon): July 7-21.

Sunset (Mid-Month): Altair is rising in the east and Deneb is low in the northeast. Hercules with the beautiful M-13 globular cluster is nearly overhead. Libra (twin bright stars Zubeneschamali and Zubenelgenubi) is low in the south with brilliant Spica to the right. The box of Corvus is low in the southwest. The Big Dipper is high in the northwest, and Arcturus is high in the south. Distinctive Scorpius with red Antares is rising in the southeast

Midnight (Mid-Month): Sagittarius, marking the center of the Milky Way, our home galaxy, glows in the south. Scan its varied wonders with tripod-mounted binoculars or a wide-angle telescope.

Sunrise (Mid-Month): Orion is rising while the bright Pleiades cluster glints high in the east. Our nearest neighbor galaxy, M-31 Andromeda, is perfect for binocular viewing directly overhead.

Mercury, in Canis Minor, is lost in the sun at sunrise.

Venus, in Leo, is the Evening Star, low in the west at sunset.

Mars, in Taurus, is low in the east between Aldebaran and Elnath at sunrise. 

Jupiter, in Cancer, is very low in the west at sunset.

Saturn, in Pisces, is high in the southeast at sunrise.

Notable Space Missions: Astrobiotic’s Griffin lander will put the Flex Lunar Innovation Program’s (FLIP) golf cart-sized lander at the moon’s south pole. It’s a test system for NASA’s Commercial Lunar Payload Services initiative.

Frank Sanders, a spectrum scientist, takes astronomy-related inquiries at backyardastronomy1@gmail.com.