Sitting on the dash was a small decorative pouch with colors of fuchsia, light blue, and yellow, stitched into satin. Looking out onto the open road, I felt a sense of comfort knowing the contents were the ashes of my partner's late father.
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Following a predestined path.
Looking out onto a snow-covered Crested Butte from the Nordic Inn.
CRESTED BUTTE — Sitting on the dash was a small decorative pouch with colors of fuchsia, light blue, and yellow, stitched into satin. Looking out onto the open road, I felt a sense of comfort knowing the contents were the ashes of my partner's late father.
Jaxon had grabbed them on a whim, knowing we would be crossing through some of the most beautiful parts of the state, thinking he may want to let some go. It wasn’t until we were already on the road that Jaxon realized it was the second anniversary of losing his Dad. It’s funny how that kind of anniversary can sneak up on you.
Another irony was the trip itself: we were on a very spontaneous trek to Crested Butte, a five-hour drive, for just one night, to see some incredible musicians. Wayne Wright, Jaxon’s dad, was someone who loved adventure and to travel. He had a particularly special taste for music. He instilled love for both deeply in Jaxon.
This immediately brought a vibe to the trip that wasn’t somber, but somehow inspiring. It felt as if his spirit had moved the universe into exactly the right configuration to make the trip possible. I felt that he was with us all the way.
As we passed through the many mountain towns, valleys, and ranges it takes to get from Nederland to Crested Butte, I reflected internally about why I’m here. Not just on this planet, but why I’m in Colorado.
One of those reasons is undeniably Jaxon. He’s the one who brought me to Nederland for the first time in 2017. Making the choice to move here was so easy, despite the fact that we had only been together for two years. It’s hard to believe we are nearing our 10-year anniversary in just a few months.
This brought me to the idea of destiny. I struggle from time to time as to whether or not I believe it exists at all. I believe people have the power to alter their destiny, but certain things feel like they would have happened no matter what path you took in life.
I feel that way about my relationship with Jaxon. I feel that way about moving to Colorado. I feel that way about being in Crested Butte last weekend.
The entire weekend felt so serendipitous. Not a single thing felt forced. We rolled into our suspiciously cheap hotel, The Nordic Inn, only to find it was absolutely perfect. We enjoyed views from the hot tub and then had an insanely good pie from Secret Stash.
That evening, we took a totally free shuttle to and from a really special show at the architecturally magnificent Center for the Arts. Here we shared space with some of the kindest and most joyous people, who had one common goal: to dance and share joy with one another.
All of these things felt so appropriate for holding space for Jaxon’s grief while simultaneously celebrating Wayne’s life. Sometimes, it feels as if your entire life is leading up to certain moments. This felt like one of those moments.
In the morning, we packed up our things and hit the road, feeling so fulfilled by what we had just experienced and were still experiencing. On our way out of town, we stopped on the side of the road, with the Maroon Bells and Crested Butte in our view, so Jaxon could release some ashes.
As I watched him, and soaked in the beauty that was surrounding us, I felt an incredible sense of gratitude for so many things. For having known Wayne. For having a partner who will drive five hours with me just to turn around and drive back the next day. For living in a state where that five-hour drive is nothing but gorgeous views. For Jaxon bringing me to Colorado in the first place.
I felt so surrounded by a deep, intense love at that moment. I felt it in a way that I can’t truly explain but made me feel like I was exactly where I needed to be then and am exactly where I need to be right now.
My hope in sharing this with you is to encourage you to follow your heart and your intuition the next time something speaks strongly to you, no matter how impractical or wild it sounds. You never know what great adventure may lie ahead.
To get to Crested Butte, we took Highway 72 South out of town to Highway 285 South and rode that for 100 miles before we got off on Highway 50 West. After riding on Highway 50 for 60 miles, we took Highway 135 North to Crested Butte.
