“More often than not, when someone takes offense to something you do or say, it is guided by their mood, and it has nothing to do with you.””

Omayra Acevedo

LONGMONT - According to Merriam-Webster, a tiff refers to a petty quarrel. From my experience, nearly every quarrel between people is a tiff, a minor, relatively unimportant disagreement.

As a 45-year-old human, I realize tiffs will occur. It’s a part of life, especially when one spends a lot of time with one specific individual or a handful of individuals. What I can’t wrap my head around is why something small is turned into what, in my opinion, is unnecessarily drawn-out drama.

I am a direct person, always speaking openly and honestly, but my intention isn’t to make anyone angry or upset. I do it out of respect for whoever I’m communicating with. I don’t want anyone to question if I’m being honest or not. It’s that simple.

As I deal with someone attempting to start a tiff with me yet again at one of my jobs, I reflect on all the things I learned in my psychology classes.

One of the things that has stuck with me is hearing my professor say, “More often than not, when someone takes offense to something you do or say, it is guided by their mood, and it has nothing to do with you.”

These words played in my mind over and over as I walked through Downtown Longmont. Self-reflecting and figuring out ways to avoid one person, which is challenging when you work in the same space, I came upon a structure.

The building was small and simple, and though it was near an intersection, it felt peaceful. I looked down to read the information on the plaque in front of it.

Surrounded by a plaza, it is the oldest church building still standing in the city of Longmont: Old St. Stephen’s Church.

The church cost $3,300 when it was built in 1881. For 90 years it was known as St. Stephen’s Episcopal Parish until the parish relocated to a larger facility in 1972.

By 1976, after a community-wide drive to save the historic structure from demolition, the St. Vrain Historical Society purchased the original 20x40 brick church building. The Longmont Downtown Development Authority created the St. Stephen’s Plaza for the public in 2005.

I thought about how many tiffs the community of Longmont had to endure before succeeding in saving the old church. It exhausted me to think about it. I felt myself shutting down, craving the quiet and simple life I work so hard for.

It was no surprise that even thinking of someone else’s fight caused me to shut down. It’s generally my go-to at the onset of any drama. I work too hard for my inner peace, and I’ll be damned if anyone is going to try to take it away from me.

Much as the Longmont community of the 20th century fought to preserve the beautiful church, I will continue to fight to keep my beautiful peace, no matter the cost or who it affects.

Another thing life has taught me is that I will never be able to change the things someone thinks about me or the way they feel about me. I can, however, focus on living a peaceful life, even if that means quitting my job, moving, or making other major changes.

St. Stephen’s Church is a designated local historic landmark and listed on the National Register of Historic Places. The plaza and church are at 500 Main Street, Longmont, Colorado.